WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT?

I’m home alone and it’s very early on a summer morning. The sunlight is brilliant. It nourishes the color in every flower and every shimmering green leaf beckons me out of the house. There is still a snap in the air and it is a perfect morning to do my power walk by the bay.
I go through the walk in my mind. There is that long uphill gravel incline. There is the part where my chest gets a little tight and where my knee hurts a little bit. I realize that once committed turning back is possible but not an option. I look at the chair and the morning newspaper. I think about the nice breakfast that is forbidden before a power walk. I wonder if I could skip it today. After all I exercised yesterday. Maybe I could do it this evening instead. Negotiations go on in my head. The nice chair, the beautiful morning, the waves of guilt, and the heavy shackles of laziness spin in my brain. The feelings and thoughts turn round and round. Then suddenly, in a blazing epiphany, I charge out the door. I am off. Footfall follows footfall. My sneakers smack the out a rhythm on the sidewalk. The fresh morning air fills my lungs. The sweat cascades down my neck. I feel genuine and glad to be alive.
Every now and then a delicious vignette appears before my eyes or caresses my senses. The smile of greeting from another human being, the sound of the birds calling across the bay, and the smell of fennel in the brush propel me forward.
I arrive home feeling rejuvenated, tired and vigorous at the same time. The shower soothes my muscles and makes them tingle. That breakfast is now earned and tastes much better. I feel good about myself. I feel a sense of contentment and there is a glow from deep inside my body. Why on earth did I ever consider staying home? What inner sirens tried to seduce me away from the wonderful feelings I now enjoyed.
It was the same sirens that always tempt me to follow the road more travelled. The easier road that goes to the wrong place instead of the immediately harder road that goes to the right place. This article is about the sirens, why they are there, how to resist them and how to find the right place. I will focus on four areas of life style challenge: exercise, diet, stress and adverse habits.
Contemplation of exercise kindle excuses such as: I am too tired today, my back hurts, I’m too busy, it’s too early, it’s so boring, it’s too hot, my allergies are acting up, I’m depressed and many others. Where is the problem? The rewards of exercise always outnumber the excuses. But our default attitude is exercise aversion
The way to overcome that aversion is planning and habit formation. These conscious activities engender a mindset that allows the individual to focus on the reward, enjoy the task, suffer guilt for non-compliance and enjoy better health that strengthens their will to continue. The more fit they get the more they want to exercise. Simple and small additions of an exercise regimen can start you on the right track. Put exercise in your schedule and break it up into short segments if need be. Fit it into your daily regimen and make it a habit. Use the stairs instead of the elevator. Take the dog for a longer walk. Walk with your friends or your spouse or listen to music. Some people enjoy going to the gym but if you don’t have the time or the money get tapes on yoga and Pilates. They will give you inexpensive stretch and resistance exercise with little or no equipment. If you prefer sports select ones you will enjoy and look forward to as a pleasure not a burden. If you do sports supplement those activities with regular exercise so you will perform better and not hurt yourself. If you want to have exercise in your life, and it will make your life better, then plan for it, schedule it and make it a habit.
There are many reasons people have difficulty following a good diet. Many of those reasons have led to an epidemic of obesity and diabetes in America. What are your excuses? Is it because your friends and family eat and drink the wrong things and too much of them? Is it because you don’t have the time and skill to cook? Is it because the right kind of food is more expensive? Is it because there is too much controversy about what is the right diet and even you were going to follow it measuring out food is just too much of a nuisance? How do you eat the right thing at restaurants? Besides, it’s such a comfort to eat all those rich foods high in animal fats and refined sugar. That’s why they call it comfort food. The answer to these objections is planning and habit formation. Planning requires some education. You need to know what foods produce high sugar loads (high glycemic load) and must learn to spread your carbohydrates throughout the day so you don’t become hungry and develop high levels of insulin that can harm your body... You need to know what foods contain healthy oils and learn to cook with them. You must understand the harmful nature of some foods (excessive red meats) and the beneficial nature of others (high anti oxidant content like blueberries). In general eat less…mostly plants…mostly brightly colored ones. Prepare your food ahead of time and break it up to save time and money. Eating healthy can mean eating well and enjoying your meal. After a while the habit will diminish the pleasure of eating the wrong food…it will taste too rich and not sit well in your stomach. There will be times at restaurants and special events that you will not be able to adhere to your plans. It’s OK. Eat half and take the rest home. Favor salads and fish and avoid fried foods. Read books on what to eat at restaurants. If you need a snack or dessert try fresh fruit. The meal is a strong social ritual. It is an integral part of the family dynamic, a business tool and a religious metaphor for spiritual communion. It is used as a tool by parents to reward or punish their children. This use of food as a behavioral modifier has affected our children’s’ eating habits and how we interact with them. Obesity impacts our self esteem as well as our health and vigor. Food is a powerful factor in our lives and its effect is immense on individuals, society and the health care system. Only by effort, education and planning can we make our eating habits enjoyable and healthful.
Stress is an inevitable part of our lives. Some people compensate by gluttony and curtail their ambition to exercise, thereby affecting the other life style issues. Stress is an adaptive response to life events and can be guided to improve our lives by sharpening our skills and honing our experience. On the other hand, it can lead us to select maladaptive responses that cause physical, mental and emotional distress. Here too the answer is planning and habit formation but the task is more difficult because our response is so deeply ingrained in our psyche. The key word here is equanimity. The storm will come, we will get wet but we will not care. Easier said then done and the answer can not be withdrawal from life. There are techniques to unload the adrenaline and cortisone that damage us when confronted by overwhelming and unrequited stress. Exercise can be one of those techniques. There is comfort in family and social bonds. Meditation and spiritual communion can cool our mental, emotional and physiological stew. Reaching out to help others when you are distressed is a soothing balm. So too are creative endeavors and a sense of humor. It takes planning and effort to develop equanimity. You can not control the stress that comes your way but you can train yourself to mitigate its effect. Bend to the wind and you will survive the storm.
We emphasized planning and habit formation but what happens when the habits are self destructive. Smoking, drinking, gluttony, drug use, etc. These habits emerge from maladaptive responses to aberrant social and endogenous psychological triggers. Peers, parents, the media, celebrities, socio-economic factors all play a role in the development of these habits. It is extremely difficult for the victims to free themselves and a tremendous challenge for loved ones or health care workers to assist them. Yet, these habits cause diseases that impair and kill their victims and impose huge social costs on every one else. If we recognize the benefit, identify the causes and are given the tools we have a chance of correcting adverse behavior. We can exercise, eat properly and mitigate stress. If we are unable to accept the adverse consequences because we are too imprisoned by the behavior, if we have lost the ability to be objective and the will to prevail; if we regard our rescuers as our enemies; if there is no self there anymore…then the cause becomes nearly insurmountable. I have had smokers angry with me for trying to get them to stop as they desperately puff on a rescue inhaler to calm their umpteenth asthma attack. I have seen people smoking through their tracheotomy tubes after their larynx was removed for throat cancer. Sometimes when the episode is truly catastrophic…cardiac arrest, homicide while drinking and driving…they will stop. There are medications and therapy for all these victims but they must join the fight somewhere along the line or the battle will be lost.
It’s difficult to break old habits and form new ones but you only have one life to live in this body. We are all going to die. No one gets out of this life alive. What kind of journey do you want to have until you get to the end? Look hard at your habits. Reinforce the good ones and purge the bad ones. Remember the ultimate responsibility for change resides with you. There are ways to change and the sooner you take charge and do it the easier it will be and the better the results.
Physician’s can assist if you are willing to partner with them.
What kind of problems have you encountered trying to break old habits and create new ones. I would love to hear your story?